The alchemist picked up a book that someone in the caravan had brought. Leafing through the pages, he found a story about Narcissus. The alchemist knew the legend of Narcissus, a youth who knelt daily beside a lake to contemplate his own beauty. He was fascinated by himself that, one morning, he fell into the lake and drowned. At the spot where he fell, a flower was born, which was called the narcissus. But this was not how the author of the book ended the story. He said that when Narcissus died, the goddesses of the forest appeared and found the lake, which had been fresh water, transformed into a lake of salty tears.
" Why do you weep?", the goddesses asked.
" I weep for Narcissus", the lake replied.
"Ah, it is no surprise that you weep for Narcissus, " they said. " For though we always persued him in the forest, you alone could contemplate his beauty close at hand."
"But....was Narcissus beautiful?" the lake asked.
"Who better than you to know that?" the goddesses said in wonder. "After all, it was in your banks that he knelt each day to contemplate himself!"
The lake was silent for some time. Finally, it said: "I weep for Narcissus, but i never noticed that Narcissus was beautiful. i weep because, each time he knelt beside my banks, i could see, in the depths of his eyes, my own beauty reflected."
recently i have been reading about and hearing stories of screwed up lives of pple i know and strangers alike. it never occurred to me until now that how lucky i am to have a pretty much normal life. nothing spectacularly dramatic has happened in life so far. some may call it boring but i am perfectly satisfied with it as it is now. at least the most of my worries are just the usual stuff like grades, little tiffs with my siblings etc. sometimes, when u look at it differently, being just normal is really a blessing in disguise. i thank my lucky stars as i go to sleep peacefully each night. its been a long time since i lost sleep due to a worry and i am definitely not complaining. ha ah, no eye bags!
well, been doing a lot of thinking over the past few days. dunno why but i am feeling a tad emo and melancholic recently. talking alot to pple like shiwen, clara and chen hong, who have watch me grown (and grown with me) ever since i was a young girl of 13. ha! it amazes me how much i have changed in the past five years. looking back, i would certainly would not have seen myself where i am today. back then, i was reckless and full of guts. back then, i selfishly thought the whole world revolved around me and i chose to indulge in life the way i wanted. consequences never was a thought in my innocence. back then, i chose my friends over family, hanging out with them every second i could. home to me was secondary. back then i thought popularity was everything, the amount of friends you know defined your "status". ha ha. it seems ironic now that i see it myself in other s. but well, things change, pple do too. now, i guess i have pretty much matured over the years. perhaps it is the age which is catchin up on me but i no longer see the fun in constantly being in the centre of attraction. now, i sought pleasure in hanging out with a few good pals rather then in a huge group. long meaningful conversations mean much more to me then casual chit chat with aquaintances. i am thankful for pple who i know will always be there for me rather than those who only seek you when they need you. now, i treasure my family over everything else, always looking forward to our daily dinners. its heartwarming to share stories and show our care and concern for the pple who u have grown up with all your life. *smiles* now, i enjoy moments of solitary. spending time with myself, be it reading a good book, taking a swim or just spacing out on the local public transport. simple stuff just seem more significant to me now.
today, i am proud to say i love the new me much more. some pple live a life time without learning to love themself, accepting themselves for who they really are. as cliche as it sounds, i think that to love others, u gotta love yourself first. i have learnt to treasure the things i used to take for granted and be thankful for all that i have. i came to these relevations the hard way, but now i am prepared to let go of the painful memories which have been haunting me and embrace the wonderful company of pple around me for now. i promise myself that from today on, i will be a better person. all i just want to, is to be happy.
cos i know tat's the way u would have wanted me to. :)
* latest up date at 2130hrs: news just reported the exact road that i am living on is on extra extra alert for dengue. w aha ha, die die. where are all the mosquito coils when i need them!? @$!##$%
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